Good News...finally!!

Well, good news! For the first time, my MRI came back with good news! My lesions both show a decrease in enhancement! Hoooooray!! It's the first time we've gotten a positive report since all of this started. It's only a "slight decrease" but it means the mystery of my forever-enhancing lesion is hopefully going to be resolved! And I'll take that news!

This news also makes it more clear that this is Tumefactive MS. Having MS is not good news, but when the other options are lymphoma or a brain tumor, I guess it is a relief! I am so grateful for a doctor who held steady and didn't order a risky biopsy just because it was hard to wait this out.

As for what has caused the improvement, it's hard to say. Honestly, we would have expected the enhancement to improve months ago, so it could just be resolving on its own. But I did start Avonex a month ago, and I have been on a special MS diet for about a month. So who knows. But I guess I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing since things are moving in the right direction!

As for how I'm feeling, I'm definitely better than I was in March and April. That was a really rough time for me, and it's a relief to have access to my thoughts again and to be able to dedicate more energy to physical therapy and building up my endurance. I've been making progress overall, though I still have alot of rough days, especially with my Avonex, which makes me sick for two days out of each week. I still haven't been able to jump back into social activities and haven't been able to return to work yet. It's pretty disorienting being away from my "normal" life for so long. I am looking forward to the day when I feel predictably well. I know life will never be "normal" the way it was, but my perspective has changed alot, and hopefully I have learned a few things that will help me rebuild when the time comes.

I am constantly amazed at other people I meet who have MS. I had honestly never considered this disease before, and all that people go through. And yet, when I read stories or talk to people with MS, these are some of the strongest, most positive, dynamic people on the earth. It is a daily struggle that people have to learn to live with and work around, and somehow, most people with MS find a way to be really happy and proactive about it. I can honestly say I'm not there yet. I am still overwhelmed by how tired and weak I feel every day and how hard it is to think and process things like I used to. Some of my greatest talents feel completely inaccessible right now, and it's pretty disorienting. I am not bitter about it, but I have a really long way to go to become like these amazing people who have MS and live their lives so passionately. I guess I should be grateful for the opportunity. If MS has the ability to create such amazing and strong spirits, then I am lucky to join this group of incredible people and learn all that I can from them. I only hope I can rise to the occasion and actually turn this into a force for good in my life. Lots to learn...

Thanks to everyone for your love and prayers!

xoxo
Mandy