Just wanted to write a quick update, more for myself than anything, but also for those who have been asking me to write something for months.
Overall, life is good and I have very few complaints. It's hard to know how to sum up everything that has happened in the past two years, and I guess this blog can sort of speak for itself. It's been a crazy ride, an emotional and physical trial that is unparalleled in my life. I have experienced more types of pain through this journey than I ever conceived was possible. There is no way to describe what you go through when trying to cope with the various stages of relapse and recovery. Even the ups are challenging, because for me, they are almost inevitably followed by downs. And that makes it a little scary. But I've learned more than anything to live in the moment, to love and appreciate every single day of life, and to let hard times pass through my life without bringing me down. I've learned so much in such a short time, and in many ways I am grateful for that.
THE UPDATE
Honestly, I would say I'm extremely happy right now, and I am so much healthier than I was two years ago. S
ooo much healthier, and that is exciting and encouraging. My brain lesion has been stable and unchanged for over a year, and doctors even wonder if that is what's responsible for my illness. Maybe it's not. I continue to be sick on a fairly regular basis, but it's alot of non-specific symptoms like muscle weakness, extreme fatigue, and that inescapable brain fog. It comes in waves, and often I'm feeling great, then sick, then great, it's all so unpredictable and makes it hard to progress with my life, my career, my social life, goals, dating, really anything.
I have an appointment with the Mayo Clinic for follow up next month. My most recent MRI was in December, and everything looked good there. We are currently looking into a mass that we found in my anterior mediastinum (in my chest, right behind my sternum). We aren't really sure what it is, and hopefully it's nothing, but we are doing a biopsy next week to be sure. I have honestly been checked out of the mystery-solving business for most of the past year, because we were turning up more questions than answers, and it was making me crazy! So, I decided to just enjoy the good days and weeks and focus on controlling my health in every way I could...eating organic and healthy, keeping up with strength training, keeping on schedule with my supplements and medications, doing as much as I could to organize my life, and spending my good days with the people who are important to me. It's been really good for me, and I've loved focusing on normal life in the ways that I can.
In tuning out the medical world, my doctors appointments and even my sick days and weeks have come to feel pretty routine to me. But there isn't really anything routine about a biopsy, so it's shaking things up a little. I know I'll be fine, its just pulling me back into this medical reality for a minute, and it's kind of unsettling. But honestly, I do want to know what that stupid mass is, and even for the slight chance that this could give us some sort of useful answers...(I hate hoping for things like that)...I guess it'll be worth the stress and pain.
The mass is behind my sternum, so a CT scan guided needle will be stuck through my ribs, pass through part of my lungs and then reach the mass to take a sample. They say the biggest risk is of deflating a lung, otherwise it's pretty safe. A deflated lung. No big deal. Basically safe.
